April Showers

During most any month, I absolutely love the smell and feel of rain. It's nature's way of cleaning out the clouds and providing necessary H2O to plants and animals. In literature, water can purify such as in the case of the deluge in Noah's Ark. Rain forecasts abundant crops, new life and wealth.

For some of us, however, April can be an absolutely dark month with all its showers. The heavens weep and we cry puddles of tears. These tears are shed in remembrance or as a result of unfortunate April events. After crying, we usually feel much better because we've released all the pent up feelings we've accumulated. What happens, though, when a complete purgation of tears becomes impossible? The world loses color, food loses zest, flowers lose their fragrance. In fact, we are depressed.

In such a case does a friend help that person find joy again, save them from death and disappear, let them struggle with themselves alone assuming that they'll be fine, or let them alone because they're independent and can take care of themselves?

I am not comfortable with any of these solutions as stand-alones, but there are certain elements that must be tenaciously held onto; some detachment but ultimately compassion for the Other.

The heavens do not cry anymore,
only I, Alone, do so.
No matter how I tear at the heart,
The invisible cuts supercede physical cuts
that only sting.

I want to mourn as the Bedouins do.
I have worn a hajib to enter a place
most sacred, but that which I cannot like,
only fully love.
I want to love and be loved,
be cacooned in a sea of love that has no end,
else I will fall and shatter into a puddle
that will swallow me and evaporate.